I’ve never been up on electronics. Now that I think about it, I don’t know that I’ve really been “up” on anything. I’ve never known myself to discover an underground band that no one’s ever heard of. I usually don’t start watching an awesome TV show until well after it’s gone off the air and is on Netflix. And I’m certainly not doing anything cutting edge on the fashion front. (( Please refrain from saying aloud rude remarks in agreement to that last bit. ))
The problem really isn’t the fact that I’m not at the forefront keying people in on the next big thing. I’ve come to terms with not being that person. That just takes too much effort. It’s more that I’m the opposite of that person. I refuse to try new things.
I can’t just start watching Battlestar Gallactica because everyone says it’s one of the best shows ever made (( blah blah blah THE WIRE blah blah … )) – the problem is that I have to REFUSE to watch it for a good 4 years before I’ll cave. My family would say it’s because I like to be contrary, but they don’t know what they are talking about and I hate them.
I’m not afraid to like stuff. I’m not that person that thinks everything sucks. Most things do suck, but that’s not my fault. I really do like lots of things. Lego Minifigures. Chocolate Eclairs. Jason Bateman. The color grey. Stripes. Sweater vests. Dachshund memorabilia. Clearly, I’m full of passions. I just have a hard time being sold on change.
My motto is: Change is bad. (( I didn’t say it was original. )) And this doesn’t fit well in our fast paced world of electronics.
It all started with my tape deck. I’m the youngest of three children so I’ve always had 2 older siblings clue-ing me into what is new and cool. Hypercolor T-shirts. Pearl Jam. Magic The Gathering. I’m just now realizing how much I don’t have to thank them for. But, for most things (the things that actually would have been useful), I was not welcoming their suggestions. Maybe I just wanted to pave my own way and not conform, but it only served to make me seem like I’ve been out of the country for a few years and that’s the only good reason for the fact that I haven’t started listening to compact discs.
Me: I already have Ace of Base and ‘Til Tuesday on cassette – why in God’s name would I go buy a compact disc (( or CD if you are so inclined )) for twice the price???
Well, there are actually a lot of reasons.
1. Sound Quality.
2. Ease of changing tracks.
3. Smaller size.
4. Because cassette tapes are being phased out and you have to accept it.
– – – – –
So I gave in. Well, my dad bought me a CD player with Weezer’s Blue Album for Christmas and I wasn’t going to be rude so….
Then MP3s happened.
Me: Heck no. Why would I want a stupid MP3 when I have my beloved CDs??? I’ll illegally download MXPX tracks to play on my electric guitar in my bedroom, but I’m sure as heck not going to actually support this new medium.
Reasons why MP3s are better:
1. Sound Quality.
2. Ease of creating playlists specific to every action of your day.
3. Fading in and out of songs at your party like you’re a professional DJ or something.
– – – – –
So I gave in. Actually, my mom got me a purple iPod nano for my birthday 2 years ago and I wasn’t going to be rude so…
Then iPhones happened.
Me: My phone can take a 1 pixel photo and make calls from inside my pocket to people I don’t want to talk to – so why would I need an iPhone?
I still don’t have an iPhone so I’m not going to tell you why they are amazing. They aren’t and I’m not getting one until one of my parents buys me one as a present and then pays for the monthly bill.
Me: I want that thing.
Reasons why iPads are actually kind of terrible:
1. You can’t put a CD in it. How will I listen to my jams?? Oh right…mp3s…
2. There’s no keyboard.
3. It has less memory than my flash key.
4. It’s a giant iPhone
– – – – –
And as I implied before, screw iPhones ((unless you want to buy me one…)) – having a phone that can be on the internet is devil’s work. I assumed a bigger iPhone just meant more problems until my grandma bought an iPad. My grandma who can’t work her computer or remember what pizza is bought an iPad ((actually 2 iPads..but that’s another story)) to read the Bible on. You know what’s good if you just need to read one book? THAT BOOK. It’s also about $600 cheaper. Then she never used it because she can’t use it (( cause she is OLD )) and the grandkids got joint custody. That’s when we decided to talk her into buying go karts.
In conclusion, I know nothing about what new electronics to get behind and I want the only thing that is seemingly useless. If you thought this was going to include helpful tips on what the next new thing is – I told you at the beginning I didn’t know. Go ask Casual Ken. He’s waiting until iPad version 573 comes out before he buys one. He’s so cutting edge.
My birthday is June 2nd, but I accept gifts 365 days of the year.
waj mahal.